Fatihah

Your name was thought of even before I got married. I always wanted a daughter to be name Fatihah taken from surah Al-Fatihah. Literally it means “The Opening”. The actual intention of naming you Fatihah, is my du’a for you to be a devout muslimah, to be a person who praises Allah, a person chosen to be shown a straight path in your life and afterlife.

We got you after more than 3 years of marriage. We were in Seremban when you were born, I worked as a temporary science teacher in Sek Agama Sheikh Haji Mohd Said. We plan to have you deliver in Klinik Amalina Senawang, but due to unforeseen circumstances I was sent to Hospital Besar Seremban. That was the day I saw the sweetest smile on earth. Not from you, but from my husband. Your arrival bring new meaning to our small family, happiness in indescribable way.

You were hospitalized on your third day in this world, with high temperature. How helplessly I felt, seeing your tiny body suffer. You refused to take your feed, and you cried almost all the time. There are many jaundice babies in the same nursery, those violet lights switched on produced lots of heat in the room and makes your temperature roar. I couldn’t bear to see you like that, we took you out from the hospital and went to another hospital. A private hospital, even though it means that we have to cut our monthly ration to fork up for the bills. A pediatrician examined you and took blood sample, and to our hope, it was nothing serious. The doctor discharge us the very next day with some great advice on how to have the temperature in control. The thought of losing you keep haunting me for those three days and it was such a relieve when you start to take your feed again.

When you were 3 months old, you utter your first word, Ayah. You scream on top of your lung… “Ayah! Ayah….. yah….yah…Ayah…” every time you cry. You say Ayah when you want something. You say Ayah even when you want Ibu. I’m not too sure when you really mean Ayah when you said Ayah. Anyhow, Ayah deserves to be your first word as Ayah is the one who carries you all night long to allow Ibu to get some sleep. You speak simple words at a very tender age, 8 to 9 months, by the time you were 14 months, people thought you were more than two years because you speak in proper sentences! Credit goes to Atuk who talks to you constantly, morning, evening, day and night.

We don’t have a car until you were about 2 years old, only a borrowed motorcycle. It was raining non-stop on one of our day out and we had only one oversize raincoat. I tucked you in my shirt and wore the raincoat. I can still feel your tight hug, afraid of the sound of the rain. To comfort you, I let you have your feed. This I tell you over and over again and will always bring smile to your face. You really love camera, even when you cry, you’ll stop crying and smile for that moment. I had one picture taken of you, full of tears with a smiling face.

We moved out from Seremban when you were four, the first time you live far from your grandparents, to our own house in Bandar Tun Hussien Onn, Selangor. Oh, by that time you already got two little sisters and a baby sibling on the way. I’m sure you miss your uwan and atuk as much as they missed you but since we’re working in KL, buying a house in Selangor seems to be a good deal.

There’s this one local kindie behind our house and you were all excited to go to school. You were filled with joy, your eyes glowing, when I brought you to recce the kindie.
It was April, the rest of the kids had few months head start, I remember the day when you cried telling me that you feel stupid as you do not know how to read/spell simple words, you do not know the songs that they are singing, you do not know simple du’as they recite in the morning.

You smiled in tears when told, that I believe in you and know that you will emerge better than the rest, telling you about your first word, about how soon you speak, about how mature you are being a kakak of two at the age of four. You may not get all the attention, but you got my strongest vote of confidence in anything you decide. Maybe the confidence is too much, sometimes I scolded you “Why are you acting like a kid?”, soon after the words are out I realized that you ARE a kid. Anyway, I was right. At the end of the year, you got second from the top, from being second from the bottom. The year after was a breeze for your kindie days and were liked by all your teachers and friends.

You went to your 1st year in primary school with a very mature attitude. Sent you, wave good bye. No waiting, no crying. You look a bit lost in such a big school but you were fine. You make friends easily and was elected as the Assistant Class Monitor. First real responsibility for you. In year 2, you were elected the Class Monitor and year 3 as a school prefect. Sometimes I failed to let you know how proud I am of you, I always assumed you know. Now, I’m telling you. I’m proud of you, and no amount of words can describe how glad I am to be given you to love and to share my life with.

We moved to Qatar last year. Moving to a new school is difficult, what more to school with a different culture and language. You have your basic English, but seldom use it for conversation. As like other kids you master new conversation skill in no time. You received your star of the week just couple of weeks after you joined the new school, and was elected as a school prefect when the new term started. Whenever we had parents teacher interview, one of the many things that your teacher highlighted was your positive attitude.

Recently we went umrah together with Atuk and Uwan. Atuk is 73, Uwan 61. You accompany Uwan almost every prayer and walk with her while doing tawaf and saei. You hold Uwan's hand when walking and make small conversations. I know it makes Uwan happy as you were Uwan’s apple when you were an infant. It definitely makes me happy. You should know that, Fatihah.

Today you crossed the “age line”. You are no longer considered as a child. To me, you will always be my little child, I love every inch of you even when I forget to tell you. My prayer will always be with you for the rest of your life. Fatihah it is. Your name and my du’a. Amin.